Request for A Raise in Salary

[BABYGIRL1175]

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
>>reasons:
>>
>>I do physical labor.
>>
>>I work at great depths.
>>
>>I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
>>
>>I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
>>
>>I work in a damp environment.
>>
>>I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
>>
>>I work in high temperatures.
>>
>>My work exposes me to contagious diseases
>>
>>Sincerely,
>>
>>P. Niss
>>
>>
>>
>>The Response:
>>
>>
>>
>>Dear Penis,
>>
>>After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you
>>have raised,
>>the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
>>
>>You do not work 8 hours straight.
>>
>>You fall asleep after brief work periods.
>>
>>You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
>>
>>You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting
>>other
>>locations.
>>
>>You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
>>stimulated in
>>order to start working.
>>
>>You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
>>
>>You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
>>wearing the
>>correct protective clothing.
>>
>>You will retire well before you are 65.
>>
>>You are unable to work double shifts.
>>
>>You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
>>completed the
>>assigned task.
>>
>>And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering
>>and exiting
>>the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
>>
>>
>>Sincerely,
>>
>>V. Gina